Wednesday, June 30, 2010

the final countdown.

Oh how I love growth spurts for nap :), how ever she'll probably wake up any minute now that I'm blogging.
So its here finally here the final countdown has officially begun! I also got to chat with my lovey this morning since the beginning of the deployment when I missed him being on face book three times in two days I changed my settings and updated the mobile settings so I get a text message when he writes me or posts something. Before the only things that would wake me were his ring tone and well Cambria until I turned his phone back on and we were able to text now I wake up all night even though his phone is off again I seem to receive quite a few texts through out the night mostly from my friends back west who seem to forget the time difference and that bed time is typically around 9. But especially last night some of the guys Ben included moved to a different base to wait to come home and so I had been anticipating that text message all day. I woke up atleast 5 different times last night and then finally at 5 am I got the message my heart rate was sky high!
My mom should be leaving tomorrow to start her voyage east bound. Friday there's a sign making get together on base that I'm rather excited for because I tend to lack in the creativity area when it comes to that kind of thing. So I'm hoping some of the ladies will help maybe even Cambria ;) hoping she'll let me use her hands and feetsies cause I know her daddy would LOVE it. I do need to think of some brilliant quotes as well. I just can't believe this deployment is seriously almost over. Our baby girl is almost 7 months old and only seems to make me fall even more in love with her each day. I can't wait to see Ben's expression when he sees her smile, hears her laugh, hears her blow raspberries as it has become her favorite thing as of lately.
I cant wait to have my life back.

Mrs. B-Dub

Monday, June 28, 2010

one more bump in this wonderful thing called life.

Ive become addicted to two television shows recently, the first being Californication and the second being Friday night lights. Considering our truck is still not here netflix and cleaning are my only options. But good news my truck will be here within a week because my mom decided to say 'fuck it' and shes driving. But of corse the truck shipping company called early this morning before I was able to call them and was so excited to let me know they found a driver to get my truck, and I told them "well that would've been great a month ago like when you were suppose to pick it up. But unfortunately I have already found someone else to deliver it and will be paying much less then you are asking and it will be here much faster then you will deliver it so I'm sorry but you need to cancel my order." She was pretty pissed but well Ive been pretty pissed for the past month waiting for my truck and being told two days after it should have already been here that I need to pay more because they under quoted me.
Yeah just one more bump in this wonderful thing called life. I have to say its funny to me how the FRO lets you knows the 'official' arrival times just a few days before they are arriving[not talking about my husband] however I already know the arrival times for my husband and have known for a week and its still weeks away. I know that there are a lot of idiots who dont understand you cant post that stuff everywhere but I just dont see how telling someone a week before arrival is different then 3 weeks? personally it still wont hit me for another week but I have time to prepare and time things out instead of having to cram everything into a week.
okay rant over.

On to other news. My mom will be here in about a week and Im really excited partly to see my mom but mostly to show her around this area, take her on base and to the Atlantic ocean just show her a good time considering the only time shes been farther east then Nevada was last year when she flew to Raleigh to drive back to Oregon with me but we left practically immediately and didn't have enough time or desire to make the 46 hour drive any longer then needed.

Okay new rant what is with all these young naive girls in this rush to be marine wives? I will admit I was that girl two years ago little less naive but still that girl. Thank God we both wised up and actually allowed ourselves time to get to know each other and live together before being complete idiots. I just don't get it "were gonna get married as soon as he gets back and then get a house and then......" news flash 90% NOT happening. most likely he will break up with you within two weeks after he gets back simply because he's changed. You did your job kept him happy for 7+ months with something to look forward to but most likely he's not ready or willing to get married as soon as he gets back and get a house and blah blah blah. I say this not from personal experience as you can read my experience a few blogs ago but of watching this exact situation play out with quite a few different couples and hearing of it with even more.
All I can say to you is SLOW down this is a great life I will not lie but its also not a life I would wish upon anyone. I like being a marine wife but more so I love being MY marines wife. I will not sit here and preach as if I know everything about the marine corps or the military as well I don't and am not sure anyone does but I do know rushing into a marriage is not a wise decision for anyone not matter how "in love" you are.
the end.

Mrs. B-Dub

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

chocolatey death goodness

This weekend was pretty cool, Ben and I's best friend Adam just moved back to NC to attend school after he EAS'd last year and came to visit[meet Cambria]. I haven't seen him in over year and I was 5 months pregnant the last time he saw me so it was a big change. We went to a friends son's second birthday party and the next day we got to go to the beach which was very needed.

As the days go by I find its really starting to sink in, my husband will be home in less then 20 days!!! that's less then 3 weeks, And he is going to crap his pants when he see's Cambria it will be 2 days shy of exactly 7 months since he last saw her. Its been nice though the advanced party already returned to get everything set up back in the states and quite a few of our friends are now home. So my great idea and because I'm craving chocolate was to make them 'death by chocolate' since they all lost so much weight I figured Id help them put it back on lol, nice right? Really they've all helped me quite a bit because our truck is still in Oregon so they've offered and have been driving me around when I need groceries, or to run errands. Even come over just to hang out which has been nice I mean I love my baby girl but being cooped up in a house all day with only a 6 month old and no adult conversation drives a person batty.

So I figured I would share this chocolatey amazing-ness with everyone else but when the pants start getting tighter don't blame me cause I will warn you now its very addicting and you will crave it like nothing before. so for starters here's what you need. Just incase I'll tell you also, 1 large tub of coolwhip, a box of brownies really just your preference I as you see get Betty Crockers hershey's triple chocolate the extra chocolate chunks make it that much better I think. two boxes of jello chocolate mouse, and one bag of heath bar 'bits of brittle toffee'.

I would recommend making the mouse first as it has to set in the fridge for an hour, then bake the brownies just as it says to on the box and let them cool. When the brownies are cooled tear them into 1x1'' chunks or smaller its up to you. Put a layer of the brownie chunks at the bottom of the container, use half the bag of heath bits and sprinkle it on top of the brownies. Use half of the chocolate mouse and spread it evenly over the heath chunks, then do the same with the cool whip and repeat. When you are done it should look something like this. cover and let it sit over night in the fridge and Enjoy!

Mrs. B-Dub

Sunday, June 20, 2010

bored moments.

I was browsing my followers and found this little thingy so I decided to do it too!

Getting to know YOU

The questions..

1. While at the beach, pool, etc..Do you cover up your assets or show them off?
Well I was there today and surprisingly wore a bikini and didn't feel disgusting :)

2. Road trips or Plane trips?
Plane I drove across the country and I'm all road tripped out.

3. I can't stand it when...?
ohhh theres a million things I could put here I wouldn't even know where to begin.

4. Have you ever gone topless at the beach?
I have not. a river on the other hand I have.

5. How many blog carnivals do you do a week?
0.. Im not sure what that is.

6. My favorite thing about the weekend is...?
well it will be spending time with my husband/family when he gets home soon.

7. Pancakes or waffles?
waffles alll the way.

8. Water Park or Amusement Park?

Mrs. B-Dub

Saturday, June 19, 2010

finally a place to call Home.

Well we are finally in our house and settled! Just got internet turned on today and then after calling time warner and 15 minutes/1 beer and shutting the laptop down twice we finally figured it out. I guess I shouldn't say we are completely settled the truck is STILL in Oregon waiting to be picked up and shipped here and ALL of Ben's gear is still in Cambria's room waiting for me to sort through it and re-pack it in the storage shed out back. But for the most part its definitely 'home'. Some more good news was notified the other day the for sure date my lovey will be home and GAWD does that feel good to have a date and know in less then a month everything will be okay.

Ive realized lately that I have missed my old friend coors light but also when I do drink I REALLY want a marlboro menthol like bad but at the same time I dont want to smoke I dont my child exposed to that anymore then she already will be just by going outside, even though I would never smoke around her but still. Today we are going to the beach with a friend Jessica and Ben and I's like best friend Adam. Im excited to get my tan on because its not being as resilient[inside joke to a few friends who read, I know it makes absolutely NO sense] as Id hoped. And this momma is going to wearing a bikini, Yes I may not have a washboard abdomen but compared to a lot of the people you will see at the beaches here I may as well be auditioning for victoria's secret. And I really don't care I guess you get to that point soon after you become a mom, I have a husband and he's not here so Im not trying to impress anyone, just want a tan and I prefer my midsection to not be ghostly.

New thought Ive almost decided Im going brunette! Im tired of having to get my hair done every four weeks because it grows so fast, as well as Sarah[friend and stylist] isn't here to do it. So I kind of want something different but also closer to my natural color because bleach blonde isn't it lol However I do like these colors on me I think Im going to stick with the reds but just change the blonde to brown. Now I just have to hope it turns out good, I am getting bored with blonde though it is fun but its been fun for 21 years and I think its time for a change. So pictures to follow soon-ish lol.

Mrs. B-Dub

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

say what?

I have a question, opinions are welcome but only as long as they aren't rude.

At what point would you consider yourself a marine/soldier/sailor/ I don't know what everyone else calls themselves but them too? I'm asking because I know a person(female) that enlisted in the Marine corps a few years ago. They messed up their leg in high school never let it heal properly there for, only a couple weeks into boot camp their leg re broke and was even more messed up then before. So this person is a "medically retired marine" and gets paid from the corps for the rest of their life. I'm saying this because I just saw something where they were complaining about people not appreciating the military and all that they do, and then there sister in law thanked them for being a marine and all that they do. I feel very confused on how or why they would even consider them selves a marine. I guess I should add early last year they received a letter from the corps stating that they were to be checked out and possibly returned to active duty, they explained to me and another person how pissed they were that they might have to become active duty and finish boot camp and basically finish and do what they signed up for. So in my opinion for THAT person to consider themselves anything but a complete fucktard is ridiculous. You are not a marine, you tried kudos I give you that but you failed and not only that when they wanted to give you another chance you get pissed??? the last part was what upset me the most. Well that's my rant for the day.

Mrs. B-Dub

Saturday, June 5, 2010

pay it forward

I find myself stopping to take a breath quite frequently lately. Taking time to stop and smell the flowers you might say, although there aren't many flowers here just bath and body works. Every morning I feel even more blessed to wake up to the cutest little smile in the world, sometimes even a growl. With a little more then a month until my husband will be returning I cant help but feel overly excited but I also feel sad knowing of those that wont be returning with him.

I feel the last year has been my "growing year" I come to many realizations and have been making small, medium, and large changes in my life. I realized you will never know how judgmental people are or who your true friends are until you have a child. The "girls" in high school will never grow up, they will forever continue talking badly about everyone but themselves, they may do something with there lives but there personal growth will always stay at a low. The ones you surround yourself with will define you so choose to surround yourself with positive people that inspire you. And your life will only be as positive as you allow it to be, so stop blaming everyone else for your shitty attitude and realize there's no need to be negative all the time.

Those as well as a few more are things I'm trying to live my life by. Although I have great inspiration to become a more positive and better person I know this kind of change doesn't happen over night. I feel Ive always been a pretty negative person and I wouldn't say drama queen but I would often look for drama as entertainment I guess. But over the past year I feel I have very little to be negative about, Yes my body may not have taken to pregnancy as well as I had hoped but the majority of women could and would say the same thing.

I'm trying more and more to not let others opinions about me affect my day. But I am only human and I don't care who you are or how much you say you don't care what others think, words will still hurt you. Every female has there own insecurities majority don't think they are pretty or skinny enough. I feel for another female to put you down with such an insult is very wrong. I wont sit here and claim I don't or haven't done such a thing, I'm not perfect in fact I'm FAR from it. Ive always had a weight issue, Ive really never felt attractive causing me to have a history of depression. Maybe two stupid reasons but for some those two reasons control there lives.

I imagine some will read this and then continue to joke about my past and how pathetic I am. All I can say is think, think back to your past and that one moment where you didn't want to go to school that day, maybe didn't even want to wake up. These aren't joking matters or reasons to tease someone. You don't know what goes on in that persons life and you really never know that one insult could drive someone to take there own life, again NOT a joking matter. Since the recent news of those teenagers who took there own lives due to bullying I guess Ive really been affected. I never had "buck teeth" I was never obese I didn't grow up in a trailer park but my life wasn't easy by any means. Kids these days are cruel, they use anything to put others down. But along with that YOU are often your own worst enemy.

Ive made a point to smile more often, maybe even greet people I encounter, hoping maybe a simple smile from a complete stranger may brighten there day. Possibly putting a smile on there face and a greeting to another, basically the whole "pay it forward" concept. I know I have had my day turn around just by having a gas station attendant asking me to thank my husband for him. Simple gesture but it brought a smile to my face and tears to my eyes actually a lot of tears as I was having a very post pregnancy hormonal day. Just an example but I truly feel the tiniest of gestures can and will make the largest of differences all for the positive. I guess I will stop here I hope I inspire someone as well as others have inspired me to be more positive, maybe even eventually putting a stop to bullying.

Mrs. B-Dub

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Honey I'm home.

Whoa its been awhile sense Ive been on here. Well since my last post things have been pretty good actually. Ben re-enlisted, We got a house, trucks being shipped, Oh and Cambria and myself made it to NC Yesterday morning. I was amazed how well she did being 5 months old and flying, she did amazingly well! Slept the entire time, me however well I'm one of those people who can't sleep sitting up so I got maybe 3 hours of sleep all Sunday night.

Ive been slowing down a lot lately to appreciate things, instead of constantly going. While doing this Ive become even more amazed at how big and smart my baby girl is getting. It's crazy to me that I grew her in my belly. Our little alien baby turned into a beautiful baby girl. She's become very independent[for a baby] and playful. I'm proud that I didn't smother my child causing them to be completely dependent on me, nor have I neglected her in ANY way. She can play with her toys all by herself, she loves riding in the car and shes really just an amazing little girl. Ive also realized you will never realize how judgmental others are as well as who your true friends are until you have a child.

I often "blog" in my head its slightly ridiculous actually because it happens so often.
I get frustrated/annoyed very easily something I'm trying to work on. My most recent annoyance are people who frequently put there sorrows out there hoping to get attention for them. We all have had "shitty" lives shit happens its life but I feel somethings shouldn't be discussed on sites such as face book..well not so much they shouldn't be discussed but more that they shouldn't constantly be brought up as a "poor me". When I see these things I personally don't think 'Oh how sad' but more 'seriously? this is getting more annoying then sad'. I kind of feel bad for thinking that but you can't control your thoughts, just your mouth/fingers.

I was thinking today after reading something that influenced this rant. something negative will only effect you for as long you let it. the "grieving" process I put quotes because I'm referring to the stages in which you grieve not really referring to a death. Anyway the process will take a while depending on your situation/personal strength, but also the length of time you allow it to effect you. I think of when my grandpa passed away, My biggest issue with his death is I never got to say good bye. Its been two years June 2nd and I still have yet to accept that he's not here. I know he isn't here but I can't accept that he's dead. I rarely speak of his death without starting to cry, but I don't obsess with it. I guess I just don't understand why people use negative things in there lives for attention. Typically things such as finances, relationship issues, a miscarriage, self conscious feelings, sex,etc ...are kept private and not discussed openly unless with your closest friends. I guess I will never understand.
Mrs. B-Dub