Sunday, October 3, 2010

Day 11. Someone no longer with us.

this one is going to be hard.
Dear Grandpa,
There is so much I want to say to you, first off I'm sorry I never got to say good bye. I partially believe you let go when you did on purpose though. I think you didn't want me to see you like that and that's also why no one told me of your viewing. Parts of me wish you had held on for 11 more hours so I could have told you thank you and I love you. But at the same time knowing how much pain you were in, I would never wish more pain upon you for my own selfish guilt. You are the greatest man I have ever known and because of you we have an amazing family. Because of you I have an amazing life and had a chance to become the person I am today. I hate that the last time I saw you was almost three years ago, I hate that every time I called I would just ask to talk to grandma and the last actual conversation I had with you was when I was getting my fourth tattoo. You told me "Nah you don't need another tattoo, tattoo's are something you get when your 17 and in the navy" I am however glad we were able to laugh about that.
I would give almost anything for one more golf game or to be young again and fall asleep with you on your chair. I want you to know that I am sorry I became selfish and distant in my teen years. I just wish I had more time with you, I hope you know how much you mean to me and how much I truly loved you and cherished every moment I spent with you. I hope that you are proud of me and I promise to do my best with helping grandma. love you old man.
love, your honey babe.
Mrs. B-Dub

No comments:

Post a Comment