Saturday, October 23, 2010

wanna be my frinnn? :)

I'm giving up on that whole 30 letters thing. I just don't have the time, the interest, or the patience to fight off Cambria from trying to "help" me type since nap times are spent cleaning and/or showering.

There's been a topic bothering lately and it's something I've kind of touched on before but I'm going to again. Adult friends/becoming parents, I do believe there is a chapter missing in the "What to expect when your expecting" book and that is Expect your inner circle to disappear and then change. The truth is, the people I was friends with before I became a mommy or even pregnant I really no longer talk to. I guess your no fun once you get married and then start having kids, or maybe I just grew up and realized I don't need any more drama in my already dramatic life. We all say that we changed drastically through out our pregnancies and even more so once we became mommies. Well the good mommies say that, I think the change is just a part of life and the good parents allow the change to happen and realize that they are no longer #1.

Since I moved back to the east coast I feel like I'm back in high school. Only this time I'm a freshman in a new school where I really don't know anyone cause the kids I meet during summer all ended up moving. I find once you've become a parent it's difficult to be friends with people that aren't. What I have realized is I am slightly lucky in that category as military folk tend to reproduce like rabbits :). So finding other moms around my age and situation is very easy however finding people who aren't crazy/overly judgmental isn't.

I like to think of myself as a pretty normal person, I mean your not going to hear about my marital issues every conversation( as I don't usually involve others that much into my personal drama).You will never hear me start a conversation with "Oh My Gawd you will not believe what so and so said/did" ( I'm a girl that wears a t-shirt, jeans, and flip flops/Birkenstocks to basically everything, I'm really not one to judge others especially by saying OMG). I don't lie, well I take that back actually we all lie but I truly try my hardest not to I think its pointless and only makes things worse in the end, this often gets me in trouble though cause apparently being outspoken and sometimes overly blunt/opinionated these days isn't a quality people tend to enjoy.
I often think of the movie/book he's just not that into you, remember the beginning of the movie where all the girls are making excuses for their friends to make them feel better? Yeah , I'm not that type of person if your telling me a situation hoping to hear that your super amazing and he just realized he's not good enough for you or he's scared of getting hurt blah blah blah, but to me it sounds like he's probably cheating on you or your just being a crazy B, well I'm sorry but I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear I'm just not the person to sugar coat things.
Any way its just hard finding friends that you can honestly enjoy your time with and know that there aren't any hidden motives or strings attached.

Mrs. B-Dub


  1. It's hard trying to make new friends, especially good ones when you're thrust into a new environment. I know that when I first got together with my boyfriend I tried to make a "good connection" with other Navy girlfriends or wives. While, yes I have made some friends, I haven't really found that spark of a great friendship with anyone yet. Part of that reason might be that it's all through facebook/YIM/phone. Another part is that a lot of them like to spread drama and gossip like it was going out of style. I'm convinced that a lot of them like to plant seeds of doubt into other girls heads to see the fights that come out of it. I hope that you find some really good friends where you are soon!

  2. SO TRUE! I was seriously just about to post something similar to this. Being friends with someone who doesn't have kids is hard, they never understand that you can't just jump up and go with them you have to mentally prepare yourself to leave the house & it takes an hour to pack for the kid/s. Being friends with someone that is a "bad mom".. well that is something i won't do. It is hard to find someone that is a mommy dedicated as you (& me) :)

  3. I read this, and I swear I thought I commented on it!

    I've not went through the mom step yet, but I have realized, once you get married, no one wants any more to do with you. Most of my friends are still in and out of relationships, and being "in love" with every boy that comes along. A year after graduating from high school I was married and moved away. I've really not changed other than those two things, and it's like I have a big "get away" sign on my forehead. Oh well. :/

    Thank you for my blog comment though, about my little Wester-kitty. It means a lot to me. :(

  4. This is so true! It's hard being married with kids and being in the military. I have had many a people (married, not marry, kids, and no kids) get mad at me because I can't just drop everything and run to them. I always tell everyone, I am too busy for petty drama, and I am will drop off the face of the earth most of the time because my family is more important to me. It's just hard being so far away from home, and trying to find real friends to be there for you when you need them. {P.S. I'm on the East Coast too!}