Tuesday, July 12, 2011

ahh fuck it

Omg people are getting on my nerves. I can't decide wether to be me and open my mouth or just keep it shut while they are constantly opening theres and only spouting pure stupidity. I've become one of those put you in your place people. And I hate ranting here about something on facebook, I swear if it weren't for this deployment I'd delete the shit but it happens to be another way to speak to my husband so I'll take it maybe I'll just delete everyone who has ANY type of drama and force them to just call or text me. Is that bad? I love my friends but FUCK I dont care about your drama. and for Fucks sake I wish some people would grow a back bone and stop talking all this shit but only on there blog, you know kinda like Im doing now lol. Im an idiot. The difference I actually do say what Im thinking and to often with out a filter, which I've been working on for a while so now Im trying to just keep everything in which I notice is driving me CRAZY! you know what fuck it. I really can't wait to get home at this point..

Mrs. B-Dub

Monday, July 11, 2011

see ya laters :(

Today has well sucked. Today marks Day 1 of deployment #4, and for some reason I am not doing nearly as good as I thought I would, actually I'm doing terrible. I feel numb I know he's gone and I know what to expect but its like another part of my mind wont let me believe it. As if I've just gone through some traumatic experience. Cambria already misses her daddy which also breaks my heart she ran to the computer when we got home to watch the videos of them. I was doing okay while he was sitting in the bus until I held Cambria up to give him kisses and she just wanted him to hold her, that was the kicker for me. I don't have any pictures to share unfortunately, and 'm really regretting that. I've been through this multiple times why does it seem so much harder now? Like I'm not going to make it, like I just can't do it.
I fly back home friday to be with my family and save money, and I'm so glad we made that decision just recently instead of me staying here like we had planned. The 8 short days of leave we had were amazing though especially yesterday, we just drove around and goofed off. We played 'the mustang game' where you punch the other every time you see a mustang which is about every 5 seconds in this town lol Im seriously surprised my arm doesn't hurt today although I was totally winning on the way back home.
I still have half a house to pack and store, but thats okay I've moved over 20 times in my life and I didn't want his last day here to be moving luckily I have friends to help me.

so heres to hoping the next 7 months go by very fast.

Mrs. B-Dub

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Here we go yet again....

I hate deployments
I hate flaky friends
I hate over bearing emotions
I hate people that talk shit about others and then act like there best friend
I hate that I expect way to much of myself
I hate the drama and people that keep it going
I hate being scared
I hate not knowing what my future holds
I hate that when I tell myself no crying I cry even harder
I won't complain though because this is his job and if there's nothing I can do to change the problem I shouldn't let it ruin my day.

Mrs. B-Dub

Monday, July 4, 2011

for pete's sake.

Maybe this is terrible of me especially as a military wife but, Im getting really tired of the people who turn EVERY holiday into a sad military moment. I'm referring to facebook here, but really I wouldn't be surprised to see these people post "on this valentines day please take a moment to remember those who have fought and are still fighting for our freedoms"

REALLY Can we go one holiday without this. Granted its independence day and I guess the history of it would make sense to say that but for some reason its really annoying me. Maybe because I'm seeing it so often like every holiday, no matter what it is. I've gone birthdays and holidays with out my husband there I know how it is, but just because of that doesn't mean I'm going to say something ridiculous as its christmas please remember those who have fought and are still fighting for this country and our freedoms, it's the anniversary of the birth of Christ for pete's sake. rant over.
Mrs. B-Dub