Today has well sucked. Today marks Day 1 of deployment #4, and for some reason I am not doing nearly as good as I thought I would, actually I'm doing terrible. I feel numb I know he's gone and I know what to expect but its like another part of my mind wont let me believe it. As if I've just gone through some traumatic experience. Cambria already misses her daddy which also breaks my heart she ran to the computer when we got home to watch the videos of them. I was doing okay while he was sitting in the bus until I held Cambria up to give him kisses and she just wanted him to hold her, that was the kicker for me. I don't have any pictures to share unfortunately, and 'm really regretting that. I've been through this multiple times why does it seem so much harder now? Like I'm not going to make it, like I just can't do it.
I fly back home friday to be with my family and save money, and I'm so glad we made that decision just recently instead of me staying here like we had planned. The 8 short days of leave we had were amazing though especially yesterday, we just drove around and goofed off. We played 'the mustang game' where you punch the other every time you see a mustang which is about every 5 seconds in this town lol Im seriously surprised my arm doesn't hurt today although I was totally winning on the way back home.
I still have half a house to pack and store, but thats okay I've moved over 20 times in my life and I didn't want his last day here to be moving luckily I have friends to help me.
so heres to hoping the next 7 months go by very fast.