Saturday, December 1, 2012

ello world.

well it's been minute since I've been on here, not sure why but o well. Nothing like getting on here and seeing the layout you paid someone to make not working. And yes you read that right Im a loser and paid someone to make my shiat. I'll try to fix it but we shall see how epically that fails.

Any way guess I just need to vent, what else do you do on a blog any way right?
for starters people are CRAZY or maybe its me actually I know I have issues but I see a professional for those and well they reassure me that I'm actually not as bad as I think just maybe too "real" for most people which lets be honest we already knew that. 
I honestly don't understand that though, since when did talking shit about someone and being there friend the next hour become okay and more so the norm? frankly if I'm going to talk badly about anyone its because I don't like that person not now, not in two hours, not next month. 
I live in this community of 200ish active duty marines and sailors which when we first got here I thought was going to be great. New place, new people, new command great awesome new start. And it took about ehh 2 weeks to realize how fake certain people were and when theres only 200 that ends up being a big majority. I find myself missing Lejeune more and more each week. Everyone is on this we work out kick, but they also party on the weekends and if you don't do either of those things or like in my case have a full time job and an almost 3 year old. I don't have time to revert back to high school and abandon my responsibilities, like ever. Or maybe I just choose not to, who knows, but in many "groups" I feel I've been shunned for these decisions.

which is actually one subject that's been on my mind lately what makes me not "friendable" I know not a word. Maybe my poor grammar and spelling?? 
not gonna care, I read someone describe me once as not having a filter and that I just say what I think with out caring. I smiled not gonna lie it brought cheer to me and they said thats what they enjoyed about me. It does seem many how ever, don't. 
Like the girl down the street with two kids, two baby daddies, that drinks smokes and parties on the reg.  not sure where she thought it was a good idea to ask for money on facebook, multiple times but I was seriously flabbergasted each time and it took the strength of thor and God combined to stop me from saying something sarcastic and oh so rude.
I could go on with the shit I see and hear but thats just not nice.
Maybe I've put myself on a  pedestal which is actually likely, not in a Im the shit sense but in a I don't take the bull shit sense. cause I don't especially after the last oh,,,,,, 5 years of my life.
too much drama, too many lies, too much hurt.
Im very over people and the one upping, the attention seekers, pity parties.