Saturday, October 23, 2010

wanna be my frinnn? :)

I'm giving up on that whole 30 letters thing. I just don't have the time, the interest, or the patience to fight off Cambria from trying to "help" me type since nap times are spent cleaning and/or showering.

There's been a topic bothering lately and it's something I've kind of touched on before but I'm going to again. Adult friends/becoming parents, I do believe there is a chapter missing in the "What to expect when your expecting" book and that is Expect your inner circle to disappear and then change. The truth is, the people I was friends with before I became a mommy or even pregnant I really no longer talk to. I guess your no fun once you get married and then start having kids, or maybe I just grew up and realized I don't need any more drama in my already dramatic life. We all say that we changed drastically through out our pregnancies and even more so once we became mommies. Well the good mommies say that, I think the change is just a part of life and the good parents allow the change to happen and realize that they are no longer #1.

Since I moved back to the east coast I feel like I'm back in high school. Only this time I'm a freshman in a new school where I really don't know anyone cause the kids I meet during summer all ended up moving. I find once you've become a parent it's difficult to be friends with people that aren't. What I have realized is I am slightly lucky in that category as military folk tend to reproduce like rabbits :). So finding other moms around my age and situation is very easy however finding people who aren't crazy/overly judgmental isn't.

I like to think of myself as a pretty normal person, I mean your not going to hear about my marital issues every conversation( as I don't usually involve others that much into my personal drama).You will never hear me start a conversation with "Oh My Gawd you will not believe what so and so said/did" ( I'm a girl that wears a t-shirt, jeans, and flip flops/Birkenstocks to basically everything, I'm really not one to judge others especially by saying OMG). I don't lie, well I take that back actually we all lie but I truly try my hardest not to I think its pointless and only makes things worse in the end, this often gets me in trouble though cause apparently being outspoken and sometimes overly blunt/opinionated these days isn't a quality people tend to enjoy.
I often think of the movie/book he's just not that into you, remember the beginning of the movie where all the girls are making excuses for their friends to make them feel better? Yeah , I'm not that type of person if your telling me a situation hoping to hear that your super amazing and he just realized he's not good enough for you or he's scared of getting hurt blah blah blah, but to me it sounds like he's probably cheating on you or your just being a crazy B, well I'm sorry but I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear I'm just not the person to sugar coat things.
Any way its just hard finding friends that you can honestly enjoy your time with and know that there aren't any hidden motives or strings attached.

Mrs. B-Dub

Monday, October 11, 2010

Day 15. someone I miss the most.

Dear dozzer,
I miss you bubbies :(, daddy and your baby miss you too!! I cant wait for when we can come get you, and have a new house. mommy loves you and be nice to your new little sister cause shes coming too :)
Mrs. B-Dub

Day 14, someone Ive drifted away from.

dear world,
I know that Im a semi-new mom and this is normal but I do wish I new what was going on with you these days. my life has become quite pathetic actually for instance the most exciting thing to happen recently was my neighbors husband coming back into town a month after her boyfriend moved in...yeah Ive been waiting for this to happen. Any who I do hope to join you again one of these days.
sincerely, desperate housewife.

Mrs. B-Dub

Day 13. someone I wish I could forgive.

Dear sister in law,
Our relationship has forever been rocky, in the beginning my brother told me you were basically stalking him so I took matters into my own hands. Later he confessed that he did actually like you and lied to me, I'm not sure why he lied but at that time you were not helping the situation by making sure I could see you making out with him in public. I mean really for Pete's sake hes my little brother.
Since then your aunt told my mom the real reason my brother wasn't able to come to our grandpas funeral or even to visit grandma after he past, was in fact because your birthday was that weekend and you told him if he went you would break up with him. THAT is why I have hard feelings towards you, I mean really who does that? I and plenty others in our family have realized you have this idea in your head that basically your the shit and the world revolves around you. You control his life like its cool, for instance he can't even work on his truck at our parents house with out you calling every hour to see what hes doing and where he is. You planned a party for his 21st and failed to even mention it to our dad, need I remind you that when ever you guys have needed help or when your family kicked you out it was my mom and dad that were and are there for you. when your car broke down 30 minutes away from his moms in California our dad drove 8 hours out of his way to come get you guys.

Now even though I have a ton of reasons to hate you I see that my brother is happy, most of the time I'm really not sure why but he is. So I continue to try to forgive you and act like everything is okay. One of these days I plan to have a talk with you about all of this and I hope that we work everything out, so there it is.
Mrs. B-Dub

Day 12, the person I hate most.

This one I actually wont write because it would cause A LOT of family drama, I will say how ever I WILL NOT FORGIVE OR FORGET. :)

Mrs. B-Dub

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Day 11. Someone no longer with us.

this one is going to be hard.
Dear Grandpa,
There is so much I want to say to you, first off I'm sorry I never got to say good bye. I partially believe you let go when you did on purpose though. I think you didn't want me to see you like that and that's also why no one told me of your viewing. Parts of me wish you had held on for 11 more hours so I could have told you thank you and I love you. But at the same time knowing how much pain you were in, I would never wish more pain upon you for my own selfish guilt. You are the greatest man I have ever known and because of you we have an amazing family. Because of you I have an amazing life and had a chance to become the person I am today. I hate that the last time I saw you was almost three years ago, I hate that every time I called I would just ask to talk to grandma and the last actual conversation I had with you was when I was getting my fourth tattoo. You told me "Nah you don't need another tattoo, tattoo's are something you get when your 17 and in the navy" I am however glad we were able to laugh about that.
I would give almost anything for one more golf game or to be young again and fall asleep with you on your chair. I want you to know that I am sorry I became selfish and distant in my teen years. I just wish I had more time with you, I hope you know how much you mean to me and how much I truly loved you and cherished every moment I spent with you. I hope that you are proud of me and I promise to do my best with helping grandma. love you old man.
love, your honey babe.
Mrs. B-Dub

Day 10. Someone I dont talk to as much as I'd like.

Dear Elizabeth,
You have been my best friend since 5th grade, we were more sisters then friends. Our childhood was crazy and no matter where life takes us we always re-connect. I do hope we continue to grow close again and be important factors in each others lives.
Love, Jo.
Mrs. B-Dub

Day 9. who Id like to meet.

Dear, Sonny.
I don't know much about you other then you were my grandpa's oldest friend. You spent his navy career with him and his last year was spent planning a trip to see you. I know you live in Florida and that meeting you and speaking with you has been a major goal of mine since Grandpa passed 2 years ago. I do hope that one day we can meet and that you will talk with me.
Sincerely, Bills grand daughter.
Mrs. B-Dub

day8. favorite internet friend.

hmm I guess that would be Mrs. Porto.
Dear Rachel,
we met under terrible circumstances but I am glad we met. You are an amazing women and I basically think your the tits. I hope our friendship continues to grow :). And that Cambria stops trying to eat Ari's head lol.
sincerely, the other pregosaurous.

Mrs. B-Dub

Day 7. The X factor

ohh I have been slacking, slightly not all my fault we did have a bad storm the internet was out for a while but now I have 7 days to do so I will try to get them done quickly.

Dear your not good enough to name,
You were my first love, which now I know wasn't true but you were the first person I ever said "I love you" to. You taught me a lot like what to NOT fall for. You cheated on me and stole from my family to the tune of ohhh approximately 45 thousand dollars. You broke my heart but in the end I have to say thank you. I do believe our relationship was so terrible so I could become a stronger person, strong enough to be a marine wife :). I really don't wish anything upon you because I really don't care about you at all. welp thats all...
sincerely, the girl that took way to long to realize she deserved so much more.

Mrs. B-Dub