Thursday, June 30, 2011

rant to the Xtremes.

Some peoples kids, seriously..
I'm sorry (actually I'm not I just say that a lot kind of like a warning I'm about to piss you off) anyway it is NOT okay to 'brag' about your husband or anyone for that matter having ptsd or anything. But the worst part is when the reasoning for this so called "ptsd" is something that has absolutely nothing to do with a combat experience, when it fact said person has never ever experienced combat or really anything worse then playing COD in the comfort of there own home. Why does this upset me? No my husband is not suffering from anything, however even if he were I would never, nor would he allow me to broadcast it anywhere. I do have a few close friends who do have ptsd, tbi you name it they have it from injuries sustained in combat and/or being blown up. But THIS right here is why the majority of grunts have very little respect for pog's.
no this is not me saying grunts are better then pogs.
Yes my husband is a grunt so obviously my opinion may be a little skewed but, I have a hard time when someone acts as if there husband is missing limbs or constantly trying to kill themselves when I have had more traumatic things happen to me while making dinner. Your life is not that hard my dear stfu.
Another thing trying to gain popularity from someones death especially when you never knew said person makes you a piece of shit. end of story.

Mrs. B-Dub

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Oh hello real world, not so nice to see you again..

He's home, for some reason this 5 week training felt like the span of a deployment to me it just seemed so long. Cambria was SO excited to see her daddy it was adorable, he was waiting in the company office so we walked past a bunch of marines outside which she always stares to see if she can find him its like Wheres Waldo lol. If it weren't for the tattoo on his forearm I don't think I'd ever spot him. Anyway once we'd found him he of corse smiled real big and she just kinda stared for a second and then ran over to him and hugged him and would not let go, it was so cute.

Last night we received the rather large window for deployment, even though its the dates I assumed it would be it's just to real he's leaving yet again and way to soon. You'd think after going through multiple deployments it'd get easier or you'd get use to it but it doesn't, you don't. I hate to admit it but I find myself a lot more worried this time. It's almost funny the things you'd think you know from what the media is telling you, compared to what you actually know when you are in the military life. Yes there are thousands of troops being sent home BUT there are also just as many going to replace them, if not more. Why would they tell you that though, telling the public that the deployment rotation hasn't changed at all since the war started would jeopardize re-elections, well that's not true the rotation has actually increased. But someone wants to get re-elected so they'll say what they need to say to make that happen I wish america would wake up about all of this.There deploying more often and and in quicker time then before. Training is crammed and most of them aren't even home for a year before there gone again.

Now this is not me complaining about the life that I signed up for, and before some of you think you didn't sign anything. Yes you are right to a degree no I didn't sign any contract to join the Marine Corps, deploy and fight for my country and it's people like my husband did. However I did sign a contract vowing that I would Love and cherish, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, be faithful and forsake all others until death do us part. So the way I see it is YES I did sign up for this just as he did and because of that I rarely complain about it. Yes it sucks and I don't like it but it's his job and there are things he must do to do his job efficiently, and most of the time that requires him to be away. I knew that when I was dating him and I knew that even more when I married him and I accept it now because being with him and the love we have means more then it all. So because of all of this I am hoping to make these few short weeks we have left before he leaves the best we can, we agreed to try our best to not fight and we don't care what it is if we want to do it we are(nothing illegal obviously). Well thats all for now..

Mrs. B-Dub

Friday, June 24, 2011

nothing says I love you like pulling poop out of your kids butt.

I just have to share my night because I actually thought it was quite hilarious..
Theres a large fire here I guess, the definition of large and fire seem to be much different then that back home as in its a lot more serious in southern Oregon. Anyway it's been extremely smokey I woke up yesterday morning thinking my house was on fire because it was full of smoke I'm guessing from the ac being on it had leaked in. Well it got better later that evening and I was excited to go work out finally. Then it starts raining and thats one thing I will give the east coast props on, I thought coming from the "green state" I'd know rain and yes it does rain frequently in Oregon how ever when it RAINS here it freaking POURS mostly because they have so many tropical storms which was yesterdays case.

So I cancel my work out in my head and then 5 minutes later its sunny again so I start to get ready, Cambria wakes up from her nap just as I'm done getting dressed and we were on our way. I had an amazing work out even got to get a little tan in finally go to get Cambria out of the child care and just as I turn around after signing her out it starts raining again...so we get outside and start running to the truck which I had of corse decided to park at the farthest row from the gym. I stopped by subway on the way home and I gave cambria my chips, yes maybe thats an unhealthy food choice to give a toddler however when you have a picky eater like I do you will resort to about anything when there going through there super picky spurts.

We get home and eat and I jump in the shower now since Ben is gone all privacy/ relaxing has gone out the window, not that there is much even when he's here but still. I have to leave all the doors open and the shower curtain only pulled half way so she can see/talk to me. About half way through my shower she comes in and starts messing with stuff, not a big deal cause I keep an eye on her. Then while Im washing my body(sorry for the visual) I feel these clumps hitting the back of my heals I look down and Cambria has dumped her bag of nacho cheese Doritos in the shower with me...awesome. Not a big deal I just scoop them up and finish up my shower, one thing that sucks about showering during the day is Cambria then wants to take a bath which we don't do until 8:30 pm right before we put her to bed and it was only 6pm so she was cranky.
Get to bath time, so I run her bath she gets super excited and I put her in. Now Im sure some are going to read this and think OMG she's a terrible parent, I left the bathroom to get her jammies ready. Well while I was doing that I hear her start to whine so I run in there to see whats wrong and as I get closer I notice first a smell and then little brown things in the water. She had pooped in the tub for the second time in her life, but this time it was many little poops and one poop that happened to be still stuck in/hanging out of her butt. So I grabbed some toilet paper and wiped it out and then proceeded to scoop up all the little poops as I was draining the tub so they wouldn't clog the drain. We then proceed with a shower instead and she goes to bed.

To complete my night there was thunder and lightning right above our house so I couldn't fall asleep. When I was able to finally fall asleep, Ben had time to call me so we spoke for about 30 minutes, get back to sleep and about an hour later Cambria starts screaming. I go into her room and she at some point had taken her diaper off and had just peed all over and was very unhappy with things. I got it all cleaned up and put her back to bed at which time it is around 1:30 am so I decide that I would not be waking up early to do zumba today, but instead sleeping in. How ever so far my day has gone quite well. :)

Mrs. B-Dub

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

sometimes change is good.

Well the husband is in california for training and has been for the past 5 weeks but he is coming home soon like within a couple days soon. Well he was/is suppose to be coming home in a couple days but apparently they changed the flights and now its like a few days. He texted me the other day telling me he might not be home when planned and I was upset at first cause we've both missed him a lot. I let Cambria watch videos of them quite frequently, she gets so excited especially when he calls the few times he's been able to.
Anyway my mom and I were discussing how much pregnancy changed me, I guess I'm a lot more relaxed. I don't let many things get me upset, but if something does start to stress me out its like stressX10. When Cambria was an infant mostly, everyone I knew would compliment how relaxed she was and they attributed it to me being such a "chill" person. I guess thats just what this life has done to me, I realize theres much bigger things to worry about so why sweat the small stuff.
Situations like this one where the guys have been gone for 5 weeks and are suppose to be back this weekend then get a short leave and then BAM deployment. It has a lot of people freaking out, I guess I understand but theres nothing we can do to change it, we know there coming back its only a couple days later so I just don't see the need to be freaking out and let it ruin your day. Which brings me back to my last post, the complaining and pity parties I'm so over it...all of them.
I imagine I will probably be losing a lot of "friends" this deployment. I liked it so much more when I was a girlfriend and didn't have to deal with any of the unit stuff and the unit wives.When rank didn't ever come up all I cared about was that my boyfriend was amazing and just happened to be a marine which I was super proud of him for. Know everything is rank, gossip, back stabbing...DRAMA and very lame. Honestly I have one unit friend who is no drama and with out her I would be lost a lot of the time. It's nice though we are two very different people but we actually have a ridiculous amount in common and our personalities and views are basically the same, which is a rare find when you think like me lol.

Another thing I've been realizing, every deployment its typical for the guys to distance themselves, suddenly you start fighting over stupid things. Sadly this is normal, and it happens just about every time and not only deployments. However I've realized lately I've been doing that with everyone lately just secluding myself almost. I'm not sure if its the deployment or the heat/humidity I just haven't been super social.


Mrs. B-Dub

Saturday, June 11, 2011

stfu.

"two things I've learned in my long 22 years of life; If you have a problem with something change it, if you can't change it shut the fuck up about it cause no one cares. Someday you need to realize that the problem isn't always everyone else, but more then likely the problem is YOU"-Me, this morning after getting really sick of people and there none stop complaining about everything and everyone.


well its been forever since I got on here and just wrote but I feel the urge so here I go,
After quite a few months of literally being disgusted with myself I finally decided to do something about it. Last Tuesday I went to the gym, two days later I decided to try Zumba and let me tell you holy shit it was a work out but so much fun at the same time. It felt like I had been there for 20 minutes when we were doing the last 'cool down' song and the class is an hour long. Anyway I started watching what I was eating a little more and when I weighed myself that next week I had lost 3 pounds :) it's not a lot but I did have two days of cheating(pizza/cookies) and only five days of work out so I think it was a good start.

and now for the biggest news, today is day 6 of no cigarettes. Yes I smoked :/ I don't think I could be considered a "smoker" cause I would only smoke 3-4 cigarettes a day but still. I decided to not quit cold turkey but to pace myself so I went down to 1 a day and then thursday I just didn't smoke at all for some reason I just didn't want to and didn't realize until the day was almost over I hadn't smoked at all that day, hadn't even thought about it. So the pressure started....now I have to quit I can't put those/these days to waste and so now instead of letting myself get stressed and either smoking or eating I'm trying to learn to calm myself down. I've noticed I don't stress as easily since I started working out.

now the rambling begins, about a month ago the husbands reenlistment was finally corrected and turned in, and very unusually was approved within 24 hours. Unfortunately I did not realize that its june and right after june is july, the dreaded month we say our 'see ya laters' yet again. deployment number 4 is literally just around the corner and I'm really trying not to freak out. I try to be as supportive as I can with some friends but in reality I have a hard time "pitying" anyone who "thinks" they have it bad. You can tell me your sob story all you want, and yes maybe I haven't walked in your shoes how ever I have a really hard time having sympathy for someone who wants it. any way Im done for now thanks for reading =D

Mrs. B-Dub